Thoughts Inside Me
by AlienDemon
Summary: Full summary inside. Kyoru. Thoughts are the things that influence us, convince us, and sometimes kill us. What happens when Kyo begins to get suicidal thoughts? Will anyone be able to save him before it's too late?
1. The Beginning

Title: Thoughts inside me…

Author: AlienDemon17

Anime: Fruits Basket Rating: PG-13

Genre: Angst/ Romance/ Drama

Pairing: Kyo x Tohru

Summary: Thoughts. They're what control us, influence us, and cause us to break. They're what bring our emotions to surface. They're what cause some to end up dead by their own hand. Lately, the dark thoughts that force some over the edge, have now found their way into Kyo's mind. How will he cope? Will he be pushed over the edge? It's AU and Kyo may seem OOC because of his thoughts and some actions.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fruits Basket or anything else. I only own my own ideas that were influenced by Linkin Park's Meteora.

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**WARNING:** This fic will have suicidal/ disturbing thoughts throughout some of the chapters. If you're looking for a cheerful fic, this isn't it. Do not flame me about the thoughts and how disturbing they could seem to some. I gave you a fair warning after all.

Author's Note: Okay, so I got myself sucked into the Fruba series and have decided to write a fic… Well, my idea came from several things. 1) I always wanted to write a dark fic and I could only think of making one of the characters suicidal. 2) Meteora kind of inspired from the lyrics to some of the songs. 3) I haven't been feeling that entirely happy (No I haven't been getting any suicidal thoughts… I try to think happy when I'm upset or depressed feeling. Hurting/ Suicide just aren't that great of choices… trust me on that one) so my emotions would end up through a character so I just went along with it. Well, I hope you enjoy it!

Side Note: Words in _Italics_ mean thoughts. "…" means speaking. (In case anyone didn't know.

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**Chapter1:****The Beginning**

Images of a silver bladed knife cutting into flesh crossed his mind. He didn't know where they came from. His reddish-brown eyes stared blankly up at the shadows of darkness creeping along his ceiling from the shadows of the trees outside. The shadows reminded him of something, but what? _The shadows that are slowly taking over… _He rolled on to his side and looked at the numbers that were glaring at him. 2:36 am. Rolling onto his back, another image flashed across his mind: Crimson blood that stood out against the blackness that was everywhere. He wasn't scared. At least he wasn't scared for the moment. He lifted his wrists above his face. Two scars on both wrists were barely visible from the darkness that seemed to surround him. Sighing, his arms fell down on to his stomach as his hands pushed the blankets off of him. He got up to walk around after deciding that some fresh air would help to clear his head as long as he didn't turn thoughts into a reality.

It wasn't his first time hurting himself, obviously from the scars that he bore on his tan wrists. He never could explain where the thoughts came from, but the physical pain he enforced upon himself felt wonderful. It made him forget about his past, problems, and, to a certain degree, several people whom he couldn't bear to listen to anymore. The orange haired teen knew what, or rather who, kept him from going all the way. Honda Tohru. She was the only one who ever truly seemed to worry about him, accept him, calmed him…

_ It's all an act… She doesn't want or need you. You're worthless to her. She doesn't deserve someone as low as you. _His hands were now clenched tightly as he gritted his teeth together. Tears stung at the corner of his eyes… _You're weak… why don't you just rid the world of yourself… You are and always will be a nobody. You're an outcast. You have no one. No one needs or wants you. Just end it all now. _He shook his head fiercely, struggling to keep from running in to the kitchen and grabbing a knife to end it all right there.

"I…I…I can't!" He whispered to himself softly. Rain fell heavily, crashing up the earth. Lightning streaked across the sky as a strong wind began to blow. _You can and you will… eventually._ The thoughts continued to come, slowly taking control. But he just couldn't let it. "She needs me…I…I won't!" He began to walk into the forest not caring that he was starting to get soaked in the few minutes he walked. His pace changed rapidly into a run. He didn't know where he was running too until he found himself standing in a rocky clearing all too familiar. It was the same clearing where Tohru had accepted his true form, his cursed form which dwelled inside his body. _Let the blood spill out of your body. No one would care. It'll help end your pains and troubles…_ "I won't." He yelled out falling on to the muddy ground. The scream echoed through the forest.

A scream was heard in the distance causing a dark haired man to awake from his sleep. The scream sounded familiar, too familiar. "Kyo…" The man muttered to himself. He quickly changed into his regular clothing and ran into the woods. After a while, he came upon the orange haired boy kneeling on the ground. Hot tears ran down his cheeks mixing in with the chilling rain. The man walked over to him and knelt beside the boy.

"Kyo, what happened? What's wrong?" The man asked still kneeling beside him. Kyo tensed feeling the other person next to him. His eyes widened as he figured out who it was.

"Sh- Shigure?" Kyo turned his head upwards to face the newcomer.

"Yes, I heard you scream. What are you doing out her in the rain? You're soaked to the bone!" Shigure said as he examined Kyo. That when he saw them. The scars on Kyo's wrist were visible considering the fact that he was wearing a t-shirt and nothing was covering his wrist. Shigure took note of this and acted as if he saw nothing.

"I was just training …" He had to think of something quick so Shigure wouldn't get suspicious over him. That was the last thing he neither needed nor wanted.

"Really… That isn't too smart. Tohru-kun won't be too pleased if she finds out that you might have caught a cold. And think about all the leek soup you'd be forced to eat..." Shigure said in his serious tone, though there were hints of him joking. He was going to have to end up calling Hatori to tell him about this. Plus he knew that Kyo would end up sick in one way or other. Something told him that Kyo's story was a lie. Whenever it rained, Kyo would be too exhausted to even bother to train. "Well either way, we should head back now."

Shigure stood and straightened out his clothing. Kyo followed suit and the two headed back to the house. Once there, Shigure went to grab some towels and came back holding one out to Kyo. Kyo took the offered towel and dried off his hair. He dried it the best he could before draping the now damp towel around his neck.

"You should get some rest. No running off. I just remembered I have to check up on something." Shigure said. The last part was a lie but knew the Kyo wouldn't catch it. Kyo walked up the stairs and closed the door to his room. Lying down on his bed, he felt himself drifting into sleep. Downstairs, Shigure walked over to the phone and picked it up, dialing a number that he usually called when some one needed a doctor. The line rang for a few times before some one answered.

"Hello?" asked a deep voice that sounded a bit drowsy. But it couldn't be blamed for it was around three in the morning.

"Sorry for calling so late Hatori, but I think something might be wrong with Kyo…" Shigure replied in a serious voice.

Hatori sat up and shifted the phone. He turned on the light beside his bed and rubbed his green eyes with his unoccupied hand. "Is he sick? It is raining and there happ-" Hatori was cut off by Shigure.

"Nothing like that… He seems to be more quiet and isn't around all that much. Instead, he keeps himself locked up in his room. And just 30 minutes ago I found him in the woods. I think he might've been crying. Also, he was wearing a t-shirt. On his wrists I could've sworn to see some marks. They were on both wrists." Shigure said. Hatori fell silent for a few moments to absorb all of the information that he was just given. His eyes narrowed somewhat in suspicion.

"I'll be over later on today after I check up on Akito. I'll see what's up."

"Thank you, Hatori."

"Anytime." With that said, both men hung up their phones. Shigure sighed and leaned up against the wall taking the time to think about this himself.

Teal blue eyes stared horrified at what she had accidentally overheard. She didn't mean too. Tears began to fill her eyes. She didn't notice Kyo's behavior to be any different until what she had heard Shigure say. It fit into why he seemed to be more withdrawn than usual. "Kyo…" She muttered to herself as she turned her head to the direction of his room. She suddenly didn't feel so thirsty like she did before. Quickly, yet quietly, she went back to her room just as Shigure made his way up the stairs.

After a few hours, Tohru awoke to only another cloudy day. She had temporarily forgotten about the conversation she had overheard by accident. She quickly changed into a light blue short skirt and a white v-neck long-sleeved shirt that fit her nicely. After braiding her hair into two pigtails she made her way downstairs into the kitchen to start working on making breakfast for everyone when they awoke.

"Tohru, I'm hungry. What's for breakfast?" Shigure asked in his usual tone he used to ask that question.

"Oh! Good morning, Shigure!" She said before going one telling him what was for breakfast. A dark haired boy walked into the kitchen as he rubbed the sleep out of his dark purple eyes, still half asleep. Tohru smiled over at him as she turned the stove off and placed the food onto a large serving platter. "Morning, Yuki!" She said as she exited the room with the platter gripped in both hands. She placed the food on to the table and returned in the kitchen to grab the tea which had just been freshly made. The table was complete. The three sat down at the table and began to eat. Tohru looked over at the only empty spot. It was the same spot the Kyo sat at for every meal. _I guess he's still sleeping… I guess I'll just fix him something else when he wakes up…_

Kyo awoke, feeling the same emotions like earlier that morning. He sighed and got up to get dressed in his usual garments of clothing, taking his time so that he could possibly avoid Shigure and Yuki. He was in no mood to deal with them at the moment. While he was halfway out of his room, he heard a knock on the front door.

"Oh, hello Hatori! Come in. How are you today?" Tohru asked in her regular cheerful voice.

"I'm fine Tohru. How are you?" He said taking off his shoes and walking into the hallway over to where Tohru stood.

"I'm good." She replied smiling.

"That's good to hear. Where's Shigure at?"

"He's in his office." She replied. Kyo walked down the stairs as she spoke her response to Hatori.

"Kyo, Shigure and I need to talk to you." Hatori looked at Kyo in a serious manner.

"Why so?" Was the first thing that came from Kyo's mouth as he shoved his hands into the pockets into his pale blue sweat jacket. Tohru looked between the two before she remembered what she had heard.

"Umm… Excuse me but I have to go work on the laundry. Kyo, just tell me when you would like to eat breakfast." They both nodded as she walked off.

"I'm just going to give you a regular checkup. Plus I need to talk to you about something."

"Fine, whatever." Kyo responded as he walked behind Hatori into Shigure's office. Once inside the office, the pair sat down in front of Shigure's desk.

"Take off you jacket, Kyo." Hatori demanded in his usual tone. Kyo did what he was told and took off the jacket. Once it was off, though, he didn't hesitate to shove his hands into his pockets. It was obvious that he was trying to hide something, though Kyo tried his best to make it see that everything was normal. "Let me see your wrists." Hatori said as he stared Kyo straight in the eyes. Kyo shifted uncomfortably as he stared between the two adults, quickly catching on.

"You're not here for a check up, are you, Hatori?" Kyo asked somewhat calmly. He knew he was trapped. _But how? How did they find out about…? _ Those were the only thoughts that inhabited his mind.

"Not exactly, Kyo. We're just concerned about you. You've changed. You've become more withdrawn…" Shigure said shifting in his seat.

"Let me see your wrists, Kyo." Hatori said repeating his command staring at Kyo sternly.

"No, there's nothing wro-" Hatori grabbed Kyo's left arm and pulled his wrist out of his pocket. Kyo was caught off guard and didn't react fast enough. The underside of his wrist was flipped upwards revealing the scars. Kyo stared wide eyed at the two men not sure how to react. His heart thumped within his chest quickly as he began to panic. He did the only thing that came to mind. He twisted his wrist out of Hatori's grip and got up running out of the room and away from them.

"Hmmm… This isn't good." Hatori stated. "Shigure, would you mind if I were to stay the night for a few days? I'd like to monitor Kyo and possibly be able to talk to him to find out what's going on…" Shigure only nodded as a silence fell over the room.

Tohru saw a blur of orange run pass her. "Kyo!" She yelled. She didn't know why but she found herself running after him, trying her hardest to try to catch up to him. He ignored her and picked up speed loosing himself in the woods. Moments later, Tohru gave up the chase. _Kyo…What's going on? I'm so worried about you…_ She stared down the path he had run down before she turned and walked back over to the yard where she was hanging the laundry up to dry. She couldn't concentrate on her task at hand. Kyo was the only thought that came to mind.

Author's Note: Well, that's all for chapter 1. I hope this doesn't seem rushed and I hope you guys enjoyed it. If you did, chapter 2 shall be coming soon. Well, review if you want. Later.


	2. Lies

**Author's Note: ** Wow! Eight reviews! Thank you all who have read and/or reviewed. That just really makes me feel happy. To tell the truth, I wasn't expecting this fic to last, but I think I have been proven wrong. I'm going to try to start on chapter 3 ASAP but it might take a while because of finals until the 22 of June. Well, here's chapter 2! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fruits Basket, just my ideas.

**Chapter Two: Lies**

Kyo once again found himself in the same clearing. He walked over to a group of sharp rocks where he slammed his curled up fist into the rocks. Skin broke from the sudden impact. Blood seeped through the new wounds sliding down his wrist like a small river of red. From there it dipped one b one on the ground becoming absorbed by the soil. He gritted his teeth together as his lips formed a twisted grin. Slowly, yet not so gently, he examined each of his new cuts and the few bruises that were taking time in showing up on his skin.

"They think they'll be able to help me!" He frowned and looked up at the sky. A glare shot from his fiery eyes as he began to speak once more. "No one can help me! No one would care enough to even bother… I'm worthless…" He turned his gaze downward before he dropped on to his knees moments later. Kyo was able to feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes threatening to spill. A pressure from deep within his chest became more noticeable than ever before. The pressure, he figured, was caused from all of his bottled up emotions. It wasn't even the anger which he let out through his martial arts training. Instead, it was the deep pressure of a never ending sadness. 'I hate living! I would be better off dead…' A whole new stream of thoughts forced him to become lost in all the various thoughts that had been haunting him. At least that's what it felt like to him.

He didn't notice the timid footsteps that were slowly approaching him from behind.

She stood behind him feeling unsure as to why she ended up following him. As soon as she something, a tear she believed, slide down his cheek mixing with the cold rain, Tohru wasn't so unsure anymore and walked a little closer to him. He still didn't notice her presence.

"Kyo…?" She asked a bit timidly and somewhat quietly. He had not heard her, she realized, since there wasn't even the slightest of responses. "Kyo…?" This time she asked him more loudly. Startled, he snapped his head upwards looking up at her. For a brief moment, their gaze met. For an instant, it felt as if everything had stopped moving. In that one second, nothing else mattered except for the two of them. It was just Tohru and him, him and Tohru. In that one little second, all emotions left him except for one. Looking in those blue eyes of hers, he could see the emotion he felt. Hope. There was hope. All things have to pass including that second and emotion. Everything returned back to normal and the emotions returned pushing the last bit of hope out of him.

"Yeah what is it?" He asked responding to her calling his name. He looked away at the grey haze that seemed to have consumed the world. _If only it would consume me with it._

"Kyo, is everything alright? I mean, you haven't seemed yourself lately and I'm worried about you." She knelt down in front of him. Her usually cheerful eyes were now filled with worry, something that made him feel… angered with himself. He never really liked it when she worried about him, especially since she had more important things to worry about. He looked away from her, not able to look her in the eye without feeling guilt and anger to top off the rest of his emotions.

"Yeah I'm fine, I guess. You don't have to worry about me. You have more important things to worry about…" He replied. He spotted a small rock which he picked up and threw in to the never ending depths of the murky water.

"But Kyo," She started speaking yet stopped. She wanted his full attention. Gently, she lifted her hand and turned his face towards her. After that, she dropped her arm down to her side and continued to speak, "you are important to me. I know there has to be something that is truly bothering you. Even though I don't know what it is, I still want to help you." She smiled at him softly. Kyo found himself unsure of how to respond.

_It's an act… She doesn't care! She's just saying what she thinks she should say! Just like my mother!_ He thought to himself.

Tohru watched the expressions that crossed his face. She suddenly became curious as to what was going through his mind at that exact moment.

"Stop acting! You don't care about me! You never have and you never will! I bet you could careless if I died! WOULDN'T YOU!" Kyo couldn't hold back his thoughts anymore. "No one cares! No one needs me!" He glared over at her. He didn't know why but something inside him snapped. Tohru stared somewhat shocked from his sudden outburst. "No one can even help me! None of you even care! I should just fucking kill myself right now!" Kyo reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a black folding knife. The blade was black with silver lining on the shaper end of it. The blade was about 4 inches in length. Kyo had the knife in a position above his wrist showing that he was about to slit his own wrist. Yet before the knife could make contact, Tohru pushed his arm away from the knife, cutting the topper part of her lower arm in the process.

Kyo stared in shock as he watched her clutching her in arm. Warm tears spilled down her cheeks form the pain that coursed through her arm. Kyo quickly stood and helped her up with his left arm. He quickly folded the bloody blade back into the knife and shoved it into his pocket.

"Oh, God! I'm so sorry Tohru! I'm so! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Oh, God, I'm so sorry! I didn't m-mean to cut you with the kn-knife!" Tears slipped down his cheeks as he was taken over by guilt. He led her back to the house and pushed the door to Shigure's office open and burst in. Tears still ran down his cheeks as he continued to mutter apologies. Tohru walked in after Kyo. Blood dripped from her arm. Slowly, she began to feel dizzy. The room began to spin as she lost balance. Everything was blurry but quickly turned black as Tohru felt herself hitting something soft.

An explosion echoed through the house causing a dark haired, purpled eyed teen to come out of one of the rooms on the second level of the Sohma household. He walked down the stairs and curiously walked into Shigure's office. He was greeted by the sight of a passed out Tohru who was half lying on top of a black dog, Hatori who was going through his black medical bag pulling out some bandages, a needle and something that was coiled up looking like thread, and a liquid inside of a dark bottle, and Kyo who was muttering something and standing off to the side. He noticed that Kyo was shaking. What the heck had happened?

He stepped into the room to get a better look. Hatori was now applying some brown stuff that came from the bottle in to Tohru's bleeding arm. ((A/N: For anyone who has no idea what Hatori is applying to the wound, it's iodine. It's usually used in hospitals and stings like hell.)) Wait a minute, Tohru's bleeding arm? His eyes widened in concern and curiosity with a hint of confusion.

Shigure watched the teen's reaction as soon as he had stepped into the room.

"Hello, Yuki. I assume you're as curious as Ha'ri and I as to what happened. Kyo tensed as soon as he heard Yuki's name.

"Yes, is she going to be okay!" Yuki kneeled down next to her as he watched Hatori work on her fourth stitch.

"She'll be fine. But she'll have to keep these stitches in for a couple of weeks. Yet, it'll be a bit hard for her to use this arm in since it's her right arm. She'll also have a slightly visible scar." Hatori replied now finishing on her seventh and now beginning her eighth stitch.

Kyo bolted out of the room and climbed on to the roof. He had to get out of that room. There was no way he'd be able to handle all of the questions they'd bound to ask.

"Damn it! I'm sorry Tohru! You weren't supposed to be the one who got hurt! Why'd you push my arm out of the way? Do you… do you really care that much to the point… to the point you'd hurt yourself like that for me? But, why?" He lay back on the roof letting the guilt wash over him to the point of more tears. He deserved it and he knew that, too. How was he supposed to come face to face with her after he had made he pass out from blood loss or the sight of blood? He had hurt her. _What the hell was I thinking! Now she'll hate me… All the more reason to-_

"Kyo! What happened to Miss Honda!" Yuki asked glaring up at Kyo.

"It's none of your damn business! I don't even want to talk about it!" Kyo shouted back down to Yuki. He was ready to jump down and kill Yuki, yet he found himself holding back his anger.

"You did that to her, didn't you? Answer me, Kyo!" Yuki curled his hands into tight fists, his nails digging into the palms of his hands. In return, Kyo glanced away from him.

"I wasn't thinking!" He still didn't look at Yuki.

"Like you ever think? What the hell is wrong with you! Just because you're having you're own stupid little problems you have to go and hurt some one! But it's not just ANY some one! It had to be Tohru! You stupid asshole!" Kyo jumped off the roof landing on all fours. He quickly got into his battle stance and attacked Yuki with a punch to the jaw. Yuki landed a right kick into Kyo's stomach.

"Just shut the hell up! You don't understand and you never will! You're not me!" Kyo wasn't sure how his last statement fit into the conversation, but he had felt a sudden need to say it.

"I'm glad I'm not you! If I was you I probably would've already disappeared because I know you're a worthless coward. You think you're so tough, but you not! You're a nobody!" The fight continued.

Tohru's eyes blinked open before she sat up suddenly. A sharp pain shot through her right arm as she lifted it up to brush a few strands of hair behind her ear. She winced in pain. That's when it all came back to her. Sounds of shouting and cussing echoed into the house. Her eyes wandered over to the door as tears lid down her cheeks.

Hatori and Shigure glanced over at one another as they shared a knowing glance. Hatori was the first to speak of the two.

"Tohru, what exactly happened?" His voice was serious as well as his face. She broke down crying at the memory of Kyo about to kill himself in front of her. Both men wanted to comfort her but weren't sure how too. She bowed her head burying it in her hands.

"Tohru, it's okay. You don't have to cry." Shigure said as comforting as possible.

Outside, the fight between Kyo and Yuki had died down somewhat. They stood opposite of one another, glaring and breathing hard. The sound of crying caught the attention of both boys. Yuki ran towards the door opening it and then closing it behind himself. Kyo put his fists down and wiped his bloody lip with one of his bruising hands. He limped slightly over towards the door to the dining room and walked upstairs to his bedroom as quickly as his sprained ankle would allow him. Kyo collapsed onto his futon and ended up falling into a troubling sleep filled with past memories of pain and hatred.

Yuki kneeled in front of Tohru and put his hands gently on the crying girl's shoulders.

"Tohru, what is it? What's wrong?" Yuki asked in a soft, concerned voice. He hated it when she cried. He couldn't comfort the way he wanted too. He couldn't pull her into a warm and protective embrace. He couldn't really be her crying shoulder.

"I- I… don't kn- know what to d-do…" She managed to say between sobs. The room was silent, no one sure what to do or say to her. Yuki stared at her in confusion not sure as to what she had said meant. He suddenly had the feeling that there was something going on that no one was telling him.

**AlienDemon: **That's all for the second chapter… I'm not all that pleased with how it turned out, but at least I tried to add a little excitement into it. Hope you enjoyed! Review if you would like. Chapter three will be coming soon!


	3. Plans

**Author's Note:** Sorry for taking so long to update. I've just had so many unexpected plans that kept coming up not giving me the time to write chapter 3. Well it's here now so please enjoy! Oh and one thing, I'm not going to be able to update any chapters until late August/ early September. So I'll try to post chapter 4 sometime before I leave. And one last thing, Akito is going to be a guy instead of a girl.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fruits Basket, just the ideas and plot.

**Chapter 3:** **Plans**

Kyo walked into the kitchen, a hand placed over his slightly grumbling stomach and walked over to the refrigerator and opened the door. He looked inside at all its contents before grabbing the milk. After opening the new container, he began to drink paying no attention to the footsteps behind him.

"Good morning Kyo… Did you sleep well?" She asked giving him a small smile. It had been a few days after the whole ordeal had taken place. She and Kyo hadn't really talked during that time. She knew that he probably wanted some space and she respected that. He glanced up at her but his eyes then traveled to her bandaged arm feeling that same guilt that wouldn't let him be.

"'Morning…" Kyo replied looking down at the container of milk he held gently in his hands. He closed the container putting it back in the fridge and turned to leave when he felt a soft hand reach out and grab onto his own.

"Um… Kyo, wait. I-I'm sorry…" Tohru bowed her head as she felt tears well up in her eyes. It pained her knowing that Kyo was probably beating himself up over her injury and she couldn't do a thing about it. All she wanted was for them to go back to normal. That wasn't going to happen if she didn't make the first move to talk to him. Kyo looked up at her a little surprised. She was apologizing to him when he was the one who hurt her in the beginning.

"Why are you apologizing? I was the one who hurt you. You should hate me, you know. What kind of person would hurt their own friend?" She wasn't his friend, though. Instead, Tohru was the one whom he loved and wanted to be with. _What kind of person would hurt the one they loved?_ He thought to himself.

"I could never hate you! And, I mean, it wasn't your fault, Kyo… I'm just sorry that that - Never mind. Um…What would you like for breakfast?" She asked letting go of Kyo's hand and walking over to the counter by the stove.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not that hungry." He replied. He watched for a moment or two before leaving to go outside to train. Tohru clutched the edge of the counter as tears trickled down her cheeks. Her shoulders shook as she tried to calm her self down. Minutes later she wiped away the last of her tears and began to pull out ingredients that were needed for breakfast. Grey eyes shifted to the ceiling after watching the whole event unravel before his eyes. His form retreated back to the shadows of the hallway as he turned to leave.

Kyo punched the air with all his might sending kicks to an invisible being that he was fighting. Sweat dripped off his chin as he sent another series of kicks and punches flying. No matter what, though, he couldn't keep his mind off of Tohru who was probably about done with making another one of her meals. He finally stopped and sat down up against the base of one of the large trees that were in the massive yard. He tilted his head back and looked up through the many tangled branches and leaves and watched the pale blue sky. Sun light shone down through to dancing leaves onto patches on the ground, some of the golden rays falling upon Kyo's tan skin. Closing his eyes for a minute, he took a couple of deep breathes to slow his breathing and calm down his racing heart. In his mind, he couldn't stop thinking about how much he must've hurt Tohru. Hearing the quiet crying while he left her in the kitchen not only proved him right, but made him feel even guiltier than before. _Maybe I can convince master to take me back so I can stop hurting her… is that all I'm ever gonna be good at? I truly would be better off dead. All I do is hurt people and that's it! I hate it! _

Tohru placed the food she had finished cooking and took a seat as Shigure and Yuki entered the dinning room and took their seats. She glanced over at where Kyo usually sat but looked away. Compliments about how delicious her cooking was were the only things that were said before the table fell silent. Not a single word was spoken until Shigure decided to speak up.

"I'm going to be going out for a little while. I have a few errands to run and should be back around dinner. I'm sure you two will be okay without me, right? Just, try not to destroy my house if you and Kyo will be fighting, Yuki." The two of them nodded at him as they continued their meal in silence.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Shigure stood outside the large Sohma estates but opened the door and stepped inside. He turned down the various hallways but stopped when he reached an all too familiar door, one that he would go into when he usually came to visit. He walked inside, not bothering to knock on the person's door. The room was quite large, yet entirely empty except for the few small pieces of furniture showing that someone actually slept there. The two sliding doors on the opposite side of the room were opened part way. Sunlight poured into the usually dark room giving it some light for once. A figure lay on the porch; their kimono clung loosely to the person, slipping down the person's shoulders revealing an inner kimono. The only sound that filled the room beside the chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves was a fingernail scratching against the wood making it sound rough.

Shigure sat on his knees somewhat close to the head of the Sohma family. Silence filled the room as neither spoke a word to one another.

"Shigure, I trust you have something important to tell me?" A cold masculine voice asked. The scratching nail stopped as he, the head of the family, moved to stand up. He did so, quietly and swiftly, and sat a few feet in front of Shigure.

"Actually, I do. It's about Kyo. He has been trying to kill himself, or at least hurting himself. Just a few days ago, he hurt Tohru probably while trying to hurt himself. I guess she tried to stop him and resulted in her receiving injuries. Well, that's what we believed to happen. The two of them weren't really willing to tell us what exactly happened. Hatori has been monitoring him since." Shigure replied with the same look in his eye and slight smile on his lips that made it seem that he already knew what was going to happen.

Deep blue eyes narrowed dangerously. If one thought that his voice to be cold, his eyes told a whole different story. They were colder than ice and were full of anger, hatred, and something Shigure couldn't quite but his finger on. He took a few deep breathes before he smirked. "If the cat wants to play with death, we might as well help him win."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Yuki studied Kyo from his bedroom window unsure of what to think of him. _They aren't telling me something. I know it! Kyo, what are you doing that is so important? Well, whatever it is, if you hurt Tohru again, I will kill you this time without holding back! I promise you that! _Yuki walked away from his window just as reddish-brown eyes looked up.

_I know you were watching me, you damn rat! What is it that you want?_ Then it clicked and the answer became obvious. _They aren't telling you anything. You wan to know what's going on. Well, it's none of your damn business!_ He looked away from the empty window and shifted his attention to where Tohru was no more than 20 feet away hanging clothes and other materials to dry. Never once did she look over at him. Kyo turned and walked inside the kitchen to fix himself something simple to eat.

Tohru glanced over at Kyo after turning her attention away from Yuki. _Why can't things just go back to the way they were before? Kyo, what caused you to become this way? Why did you have to change?_ Those were the only thoughts that raced through her mind over and over as she continued to hang the different items on the clothes line to dry, not even paying attention. She looked down at the white sheet in her hands before it made contact with the ground below. Footsteps raced to the retreating ones going into the kitchen.

Arms wrapped his arm causing him to look down at Tohru who held his arm close to her body. Her head rested on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and turned his head away from her.

"Why… Tohru, why?" Never once did he look back at her as the two stood there in the same position. She took a moment before she replied, red staining her usually somewhat pale cheeks.

"Because I lov-… I care about you and I don't want anything to happen to you. I know there's a way to overcome it. And I know you can heal." She said as she held back the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. _Because I love you, Kyo. I truly do. But I just can't say it. I'm scared that something might happen if Akito finds out and I don't want you to get hurt... _"Please, Kyo let us help you!" Tohru looked up at him but looked back down once she noticed he wasn't looking at her.

Kyo gently pushed her off of him but couldn't help but feel regret with each movement made. "There's nothing you or the others can do. The cat isn't allowed to feel happiness or… love." He looked down at her through the tears in his eyes before walking away from her.

She collapsed to the ground almost out of hope but something inside of her made her hold on to the last bit. _Love… Kyo's never really felt love. Wait!_ His last sentence echoed in her mind. "_The cat isn't allowed to feel happiness or…love." _ _Does that mean he…?_ But she wasn't able to sit there and ponder on things before a hand was held out in front of her. She looked up only to see Yuki.

"Oh! Yuki! Umm… I-I'm sorry. I-I must've s-seemed silly down there!" She said somewhat loudly. She grabbed on to his hand and he helped her up off the ground.

"No, it's okay! Don't worry about it…Tohru." He felt his cheeks grow hot. Tohru looked up at him surprised as he said her name for what seemed like the first time. She felt herself blush slightly.

"Ummm…thank you, Yuki." Her voice was quiet as she spoke.

"Anytime." He kissed her hand gently, his eyes looking into hers. He lifted his head from her hand but still held onto it. "Tohru, I think I should tell you this before it's too late. Kyo's right. The cat isn't allowed to feel happiness or love." He walked closer to her shortening the distance somewhat. Their faces were a good few inches apart. "Tohru, I love you. I can give you everything you deserve. I can protect you." The space between them seemed to have vanished as Yuki's lips rested upon hers in a sweet kiss. Moments later, the two broke apart.

"Yuki, I…"

AlienDemon: Sorry, but this chapter has to end here. Hope it wasn't too short… Now the question is what will happen next? Who knows? Don't worry! I have chapter 4 mostly complete. I just have to change around some things because I wrote that chapter before this one. It shall most likely be posted in several days. Hoped you liked it! Review if you want.


	4. What Next?

**AlienDemon:** Here's chapter 4! Okay, I just want to remind people that it's gonna strictly be Kyoru! I promise! Don't kill me! One more thing, this chapter is a tad bit dark, not as dark as the beginning, but around there. Enough of my babbling. Go read. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter 4: What Next?**

Tohru was at a loss for words from the kiss she received from Yuki. Her cheeks were still quite red and she could still feel Yuki's gaze on her. _Great. What am I supposed to do now? I think I'm starting to fall more in love with Kyo. I don't feel the same way about Yuki like the way he feels about me. And I don't want to hurt him either… Oh Mom, what am I to do now?_ She looked down at her fiddling hands as an excuse slowly formed in her mind. She wasn't one to use excuses to get out of situations, but at this exact moment, it was needed.

"Yuki, I need some time to think about this. Everything's just happening so quickly. Will you allow me some time?" She glanced up at him only to see him smiling that understanding smile.

"I understand, Miss Honda. Take as much time as you need." She nodded and walked up the stairs quickly. Tohru stopped in front of Kyo's bedroom door, wondering what was going to happen next.

Kyo glared down at the floor upset with Yuki. He was so close to winning Tohru's heart, too!

"You stupid rat! You had to go and ruin everything for me, didn't you? She's the only person, the only reason I have for living… but I guess you don't care… No one cares about the cat! He's not as important as the members of the Zodiac… It's all the rat's fault!" He slammed his still healing wrist to the ground. Pain shot through his arm and hand once contact was made. Tears fell down his cheek.

"If you take her away from me, I'll have nothing left." _ I'll die without her by my side. I've already lost so much. Please don't take her. Please! _ He reached into his pocket and pulled out the familiar object he used quite frequently. Kyo flipped open the blade and held it to his wrist after rolling up his sleeve to his jacket. After angling the blade, he took in a deep breath before he cut into his own flesh. Seconds later, blood surfaced and began to slide down his arm dripping like red tear drops. He watched it, mesmerized by its deep color and glass like surface. But it wasn't before long he began to feel light headed and somewhat dizzy. _Is this what it feels like to loose blood? I wander if this time I'll die? How long will it be before someone will find me? Will they miss me? I… bet… they… won't… _Darkness seemed to have envelope him as he felt his body become heavy and fall to the ground.

Five minuets later, Yuki knocked on Kyo's door waiting for him to answer. He waited for a few more moments. When there was no reply, yet again, he walked away not even aware of the passed out and bleeding Kyo.

Tohru lay on her bed looking up at her ceiling thinking of everything that happened in the kitchen. She unconsciously lifted her hand up to her lips, still feeling a tingling sensation. It was all too new to her and she had no idea of what to do. _Should I go with Kyo of go along with Yuki? For some reason, I just can't help but love Kyo more. I feel more connected to him. Speaking of which, something isn't right! Great, now I'm getting paranoid over nothing._ No matter what she did, though, the nagging feeling wouldn't leave her alone. Moments later, she found herself in the hallway. She looked in Yuki's room. Everything was normal. She made her way to Kyo's room. Not normal! Immediately she ran over to his body and kneeled beside him. Instinctively, she took off her light yellow sweater and wrapped it around Kyo's wrist tightly. He was breathing, but barely. Tears filled her eyes as she gently began to brush back his silky orange strands of hair.

"It'll be okay, Kyo." She said this more to herself than to Kyo. Afraid to leave him alone, she did the next best thing to get help. "Yuki! Yuki! Come quick, it's an emergency!" She called out loudly hoping that he could hear her. A half minute later, she called out once more, but there was still no response. She pulled Kyo's head onto her lap as she continued to stroke his hair too afraid to leave him alone. _If he ends up dieing, I'm not going to leave him alone to do so. I just hope someone would hurry and find us. I'm so scared! Kyo, please hold on a little longer! Please! I couldn't bare it to loose you! I love you too much to let you go!_ Tohru bowed her head as the loneliness crept into her heart. Sadness grabbed onto her like a shadow clinging to a single tree. Drops of tears fell onto Kyo's orange hair as she began to shake. This time, she wouldn't hold back.

Tohru awoke in her bed. It was dark outside and confusion settled upon her. She looked around her room as she tried to remember what had happened and how she got to where she was. Two deep voices talking in a hushed whisper snagged her attention. Her eyes stayed on the door as if trying to see through the object. Straining her ear to hear what was being said, Tohru gave up trying. _Wait! What happened to Kyo!_ She bolted straight up and hurried into the hallway. Two pairs of eyes rested on her. They seemed startled to see her but she ignored them and raced into Kyo's room despite their objections.

She kneeled down beside his futon, her eyes withes. Afraid of what she was going to see Tohru braced herself for the worse before she surveyed the damage. On his wrist was a large white bandage with few blood spots where the blood wouldn't stop flowing. His other hand, the one he had slammed down to the ground, was re-bandaged and appeared to have been cleaned. She moved her eyes to his face. He had a small frown and looked as though he was not only in pain, but stressed and worried. She bit her bottom lip to keep back the tears she had. Slowly, and gently, she reached down for his hand which felt like ice compared to her warm ones.

"Oh, Kyo…" She bowed her head as she cried. Moments later, fingers intertwined with hers and squeezed her hand. Kyo slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to the side to look at her.

"Hey, you don't have to cry. It's okay." His voice was soft and quiet. Tohru wiped her eyes with her unoccupied hand before looking him in the eye. Suddenly, she felt anger that was craving to burst out. How could he say he was okay when he lay in his bed with even more bandages and scars on his wrist?

"How can you say that Kyo! It's not okay! Look at yourself! You have scars and bandages on your wrists! And you say it's okay!" She yelled letting go of his hand. She glared at him and for once, he was speechless. Slowly, his eyes narrowed and he sat up.

"I'm fine! Why don't you just mind your own business for once and leave me alone!"

"You're not fine and I won't leave you alone! I care about you too much!"

"No you don't! No one does! So why don't you just go fuck that goddamn rat! You love him so much that you had to kiss in the kitchen!" He glared at her as her expression changed to one of shock.

"I- you saw that?" She asked quietly.

"Yes, now go away!"

"It's not what you think! He kissed me!"

"You still kissed! I don't care about your stupid excuses!"

"Kyo! Just listen to me! I love you! Not Yuki! I only love him like a brother! I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how too…" Her voice turned soft as a blush crossed her cheeks. Kyo looked down, blushing almost as hard as her, as he let it sink in.

"I'm… I'm sorry." Her heart thumped as the words slowly came from his mouth. He was about to continue but the door to his room slid open. There standing in the doorway was Yuki. Hurt and anger reflected on his face as he stared at the two.

"I'll kill you, Kyo. I really will!" He turned to face Tohru. He wasn't sure what to say or do. The words slowly slid from between his lips in anger. "I hope you're happy with your mistake! I never want to see the two of you, ever!" He spun around and ran out of the room.

_First a rejection, now this… _Tears fell as she raced out of Kyo's room to her own. She closed the door behind herself before she flung herself onto her bed, burying her head in her pillow. All her emotions she kept bottled up just released themselves causing her to cry harder than before.

Kyo sat in his room pissed off. _Great, Tohru probably hates me now! Stupid Yuki! You had to interrupt at that exact moment. She probably thinks I don't like her though I love her myself. Damn it! This wasn't supposed to happen! There's only one thing I can do now… _He stood up and made his way to Tohru's room where he quietly entered and sat down near the head of her bed. He hesitated before he spoke.

"Tohru, I know you probably think that I hate you, but that's not true. I wanted to say sorry for always being an idiot and for trying to kill myself not realizing what I have in front of me. I love you too, Tohru! I want to be with you and protect as much as possible! I don't ever want to see or make you cry ever again! Please, let's try to make everything work out." He bent down and kissed her on her head and hugged her. There was a loud poof and where Kyo once was, there was an orange cat. He cuddled up to her, hoping she would still accept him. She turned and pulled the orange cat towards her and held him tightly in her arms.

"I love you too, Kyo! I promise to be stronger and not cry at every little thing. Let's make it work!" The two stayed like that for the rest of the night, cuddling up to one another, truly happy for once.

But what may seem like a happy ending is disaster waiting to happen.

Shigure stepped into the dark house, making sure not to wake anyone. He walked passed the dinning room, but stopped and stared at the dark figure. He clicked on the lights and was surprised to see Yuki, sitting there seemingly upset. "Um, Yuki, what's wrong?" Shigure asked sitting down at his usual spot at the table.

Yuki didn't look up at him as he answered, "I'm upset right now. Kyo and Tohru are together now. For the first time, I actually got angry at her and said some things I really didn't mean to say."

"Ah. It's okay Yuki. You should try to get some sleep. Don't think too much about it." Shigure said as he stood up and walked to his own room. Once inside his room, and finding a spot to sleep in all the clutter that made up his room, he couldn't help but think about the plans that Akito had made, though he barely knew what was going to happen. _It looks like everything is falling into place after all. I can't help but wonder what's in store for the two. Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it won't be too extreme… I can only hope though._ He closed his eyes as sleep settled in.

**AlienDemon:** Well, There's chapter 4 for you guys. It's short, I know and I apologize for it. I just thought that this was a perfect stopping point. I promise to make chapter 5 much longer than this one. By the way: I might not be able to post for the two weeks I'll be gone, let alone have enough time to write. But once I return, I'll work non-stop (After finishing my summer reading and math packet) the chapters to make up for it! Laterz!


	5. Curiousity Almost Killed the Cat

**AlienDemon: **Sorry for the long update. I finally got back on Sunday. Here's chapter 5!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter 5: Curiousity Almost Killed the Cat**

The sun crept slowly above the trees giving off a golden glow that reflected from the dew on t the green blades of grass. Birds had already by then stretched their wings in flight searching for food for their young and themselves. A warm breeze blew through the trees shaking their leaf filled branches playfully. Kyo stared up at the cloudless sky, his arms behind his head. He took in a deep breath of fresh air, a small smile of satisfaction on his lips. Today had to have been the first day he felt happiness and excitement in a long time. So many thoughts of the future were speeding around in his mind. Adrenaline pumped through his veins at some of the thoughts that came to mind such as how he would one day beat Yuki and become a member of the Zodiac. Kyo was pulled out of his mind as he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head fully in time to see Shigure walking down the pathway leading away from the house. Curiousity filled him up for a moment but he ignored it. _Curiousity killed the cat and I'm not about to die._ He smiled at that thought finding it somewhat amusing. He continued watching as Shigure's form started disappearing before carefully jumping off the roof and landing on all fours. Kyo walked into the dining room and walked through the doorway which led into the kitchen. Upon entering the kitchen, he was greeted by a smiling Tohru.

"Oh, good morning Kyo. Did you sleep well?" She asked as she turned her attention back onto the counter top where she was chopping up something that was to be side for that morning's breakfast.

"Yeah. How about you?" He strode over to the fridge. After pulling out the milk, he hopped onto the counter and sat there sipping on the cold liquid from its carton.

"Yep! Um… thanks for sleeping with me last night." A deep blush appeared on the two teens' cheeks as they avoided eye contact.

"It's no problem…" He replied. Kyo buried his hands deep within his pockets after putting the milk down. He turned his gaze upwards. An awkward silence fell upon the two. Tohru turned back to the counter to finish breakfast.

After the meal was prepared, Tohru carried the dishes of food and the chopsticks to the table. She set it up decently and walked into the hallway. She called for Yuki, but he was either sleeping or was ignoring her completely. Kyo hopped off the counter and headed into the dining room and took his seat at the table.

"Don't worry about him. He just probably needs sometime alone." Kyo replied watching her worried form though she tried to hide the emotion.

"You might be right. I just hope he's going to be okay." Taking a seat at the table, the two began to eat silently.

----

Shigure stepped into the large estate that was all too familiar to him. He made his way down the winding hallways and into the room where Akito sat at a small squared, wooden table located in a corner of the room. Shigure had a mildly amused look on his face for no apparent reason. Akito's fierce, icy blue eyes met with Shigure's all-knowing grey eyes.

"Shigure," Akito started in his cold voice that was enough to intimidate anyone who was talking to him. Never once did it faze Shigure, though. "I'm assuming you have something important to tell me?"

"Actually, I do. Tohru and Kyo are officially going out now." Akito sneered in disgust, but that quickly changed into a smirk. He took a few moments to think about the information.

"That's good. Everything is falling into place. Soon they'll suffer and there'll be nothing either can do about it! I'll wait a month before I make my move. Shigure, how's Yuki holding up? I'm sure I can make some room for him in the plan as well." He let out a laugh that would give anyone chills just hearing it.

----

Outside, dark clouds began to gather slowly in the horizon. _Looks like we're in for a storm…_ Tohru thought to herself. She quickly folded the cloth in her hands and placed it on top of the clothes in a plastic basket by her side. She continued doing this to hurry and get inside. The windows were all opened and she didn't want anything to get ruined by the rain that threatened to fall at any given moment. Plus, she still had to start dinner and finish cleaning the house and knew that there was no time for slacking.

Yuki took a deep breath as he walked into the kitchen and strolled over to where Tohru stood humming softly.

"Um Miss Honda, I wanted to apologize for my horrible behavior the other day and last night. I had no right to get angry at you." Toru stared into his eyes for a moment before a small smile crept on to her face.

"I'm sorry for not telling you the truth. It's not your fault for your behavior. You had every right to be upset with me." She replied. He had a shocked expression not exactly expecting her response to be like that. Slowly, a smile made its way onto his lips. He just nodded and made his way out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Kyo and Yuki stared at each other.

"I'll never forgive you, you stupid cat!" Kyo glared.

"Shut up, you damn rat! I will beat you one day!"

"Like that'll ever happen."

"If you two are going to fight, could you do it away from the house?" Shigure asked from behind the two. The pair ignored him but did end up going their separate ways.

"Wait, Kyo! I need to talk to you." Kyo turned around and walked back to where Shigure stood.

"Yeah, what is it?" He crossed his arms across his chest and shifter his weight onto his left foot. _Why do I get the feeling that he's up to something? Wait, never mind, he's always up to something. It better not be something stupid or else…_

Shigure could feel himself inwardly laugh at the cat's impatience. If only Kyo knew what was coming his way.

"Well, Akito would like to see you in a month. He's not feeling so good now, allergies I believe, but he did say that he'd probably be better by next month. So he decided to see you then."

Kyo felt adrenaline pump through his veins as curiousity filled his mind.

"Do you know what he wants to see me about?" He couldn't help but ask that question that would either lead him to a bad, good, or no answer.

"Actually, that I can't tell!" Shigure grinned his usual grin before walking off.

Kyo became more and more curious with every passing moment to the point he felt he could burst if he didn't fulfill his curiousity. _I guess I have no choice whether I want to go. For one thing, I'm going to have to go or something might happen if I don't. And another thing, I'm too curious for my own damn good._ He sighed in frustration as he walked off to take a hot shower.

Steam filled the bathroom as he stepped out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked over to the sink. It was nearly impossible to see his own reflection in the fogged up mirror. Cold air rushed in making him turn his head towards the door. His gaze met with Tohru's, their cheeks burning brightly from embarrassment. She clutched onto the towels in her hands tighter.

"I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to w-walk in!" She was about to walk off when Kyo grabbed on to her arm and pulled her back in with him. He turned Tohru around so she was now facing him. With his foot, Kyo closed the door and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her close but made sure he left enough space so that he wouldn't transform. The two stared into each other's eyes. The distance between them slowly disappeared. Their lips met in a passionate kiss as Tohru wrapped her arms around Kyo's neck.

"Now, now Kyo, don't go rushing into things that you'll regret later. I don't even think you'd be cut out to be a father if you got our poor Tohru pregnant." Shigure leaned up against the door frame smirking at the two. Tohru and Kyo broke apart quickly and blushed even harder than before. Tohru was the first to leave the bathroom followed by Kyo who was yet again stopped by Shigure. "Careful, Kyo." Shigure walked off to leave Kyo to ponder about what he had said.

----

Kyo walked out of his room once he had finished getting dressed in one of his usual attires. The sun was setting turning the sky into a rainbow of oranges, pinks, purples, and blues. Shadows began to stretch across the walls as the hallway slowly began to darken. He shivered slightly, an uneasy feeling washing over him as he descended down the stairs and into the dining room. It was empty. Kyo took a seat at the table, shadows creeping along the walls with each passing minute. _I wonder where everyone is… The house is so quiet._ He just shrugged of the feeling of loneliness just as someone slipped through the door leading from the outside into the same room as Kyo. He turned his head quickly over at… _What the hell is Akito doing here?_ He quickly stood up; his hands were curled up into fists as he glared at the calm looking Akito. _Hopefully he wants nothing to do with me._

"Hello, Kyo. It's been a while since we've last seen one another. How are you?" Akito stepped closer. He had his arms crossed against his chest. Though he was smiling, his eyes were full of hatred.

"I'm fine." Kyo left his answer short hopes of getting rid of him sooner.

"Don't think you're going to get rid of me so quickly. I came here to warn you. If-"

"Your warnings don't scare me. They never have and they never will so get the hell out of-" Kyo stumbled backwards as his lip stung and blood made a trail down his chin.

"Shut up, you god damn monster! It's only by luck that bitch is even with you! She's probably doing it out of pity, you know. So I'm warning you, if you don't get rid of her, then I will!" Kyo's eyes widen in fear and anger slowly filled him up.

"If you even dare lay a fucking finger o n her, I will kill you!" Akito burst out laughing.

"You can't kill me, Kyo! You'll already be too dead to even try!" Akito turned and walked out of the house and went towards a black car that was parked nearby.

Kyo stood there in the dark, bleeding and thinking about what to do._ If I don't end it, I could be risking Tohru's life. But then again, it could all just be a lie. Then I'd end up hurting her and loosing her to Yuki. But either way, she'd still end up hurt. Damn it! What the hell am I supposed to do!_ He took a moment and stared up at the ceiling. _I guess I need to end it, but what if Akito still goes after her? Then what?_

"Damn you, Akito!" Yuki walked away from the door almost feeling the same way as Kyo did, though he'd never admit it. _You better not screw this one up, Kyo! He's testing you! I just know he is!_

**AlienDemon:** I have finally typed and posted chapter 5! I know… I have to post chapter6 once I'm done writing it. I promise it won't take long. I hope you enjoyed! Review if you'd like too!


	6. Kidnapped!

**AlienDemon:** I apologize to all who waited for so long for chapter 6! I got caught up in school work and projects and problems… But here is chapter 6 at long last!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter Six: Kidnapped!**

Kyo had managed to go up to his room where he slid open the door, and closed it once inside. He made his way over to his futon where he collapsed tiredly on it. Sleep had finally taken over him. It only took a few seconds for him to fall asleep.

--

Tohru stepped into the house, making her way into the kitchen with bags full of food. Earlier, she had realized that they were almost out and had told Shigure and Yuki that she was going to go to the store. Yuki walked with her, saying that it wasn't safe for her to go alone. But while they were walking back, he had to stop at his secret base, even though it was night time. Where Shigure was at the moment, was a mystery to her.

Making her way into the kitchen, Tohru clicked on the lights and set to work, sorting and putting away the food. She began to hum, hoping to break some of the silence that seemed to surround her. The only other sounds that were heard were the chirping of the crickets and the crinkling of the plastic bags as the crumpled them up and threw them out, having no use for them whatsoever. It only took her a few minutes before she finished the small chore. A small yawn escaped her lips, letting her know that she needed sleep. Taking the cue, she made her way up the stairs, reaching the landing. But, something stopped her. A small, muffled noise was coming from one of the rooms. She paused, listening carefully to pinpoint. It was coming from Kyo's room, Tohru noted. Without even bothering to knock, for the fear he had tried to pull another one of his stunts, she burst in only to see him sleeping. But something was unusual. His tan cheeks wet with tear, and his body contained a thin layer of sweat. The blanket that was used to cover him had been shoved off due to tossing and turning. His muscles seemed to be tensed and his breathing was faster than the normal sleeping person.

Tohru knelt down beside his bed and gently shook his shoulders knowing he was having a nightmare. "Kyo, Kyo wake up. It's just a nightmare. Wake up, please." Tohru pleaded as she continued to shake him. At long last, his eyes finally shot open. He sat up placing his left hand on his forehead. He dropped his hand and looked at Tohru; new tears had suddenly made their way down his already damp cheeks.

"Tohru…" He grabbed her by her upper arms and placed his head on her shoulder. She could feel his hot tears being absorbed into her shirt. She couldn't help but feel sad for him even though she had no idea why he was crying in his sleep or why he was looking at her with sadness and hopelessness in his eyes.

"Tohru… They won't stop… I keep seeing her, hearing all of her lies to me. I can't get that scared look in her eyes out of my mind! Why won't it stop? I've done nothing to her! It was never my fault! I never asked for this curse. I never meant to hurt her or have her be scared of me! She did it to herself. She didn't have to commit suicide. She could've had her memories erased and just forget about me… So why am I the one who is forced to remember? Why am I the one that has to be blamed for something I had no control over! WHY!" Tohru could feel his body shake and hear the pain that echoed in his voice. And for once, she had no comfort to offer that wouldn't be a lie. How was she supposed to answer those questions and bring comfort to him at the same time when she had never been in his situation?

"Kyo, it'll be okay… Just try not to think about it. Try to calm down." She brought one of her small hands to his head where she began to stroke his hair gently while whispering small wounds of comfort in his ear. Kyo just cried on her shoulder not really caring how weak he would seem right now.

_Now might be a good time to tell her. It's either now or never…_ He thought to himself.

"Tohru, I…" But his words were caught in his throat. He lifted his head off her shoulder to look her in the eye.

"You what, Kyo?" She asked softly. She looked slightly confused.

_I can't hurt her… I promised that I wouldn't hurt her and that I would protect her…_

"I love you…" A slight blush stained his cheeks but was hidden by the surrounding darkness. She blushed as well.

"I love you too, Kyo." He smiled at her and she smiled back at him. A few minutes passed between them.

"It's getting late. You should-" Kyo was cut off by quiet, steady breathing. Tohru was asleep. He smiled slightly as he moved her to his bed. He covered them both with the blanket, holding her close, but with enough space so he wouldn't transform.

Sleep didn't come easy for him as he lay there. He had his right arm resting across his forehead as he stared up at the ceiling from his back. Vivid memories from his dream were stuck in his mind. Sighing, he gave up and quietly slipped out of the bed. Kyo changed out of his pajamas and changed into a pair of jeans, a grey t-shirt, and a black jacket.

The moon hung high in the midnight sky, crickets chirping softly as a small breeze blew through the trees disturbing their own slumber. He began walking through the woods, his hands buried deep within his pockets to keep them warm from the chilly air. Fall was coming soon meaning school was going to start up soon. That was something he was not looking forward to in the least bit. Not only would he have to put up with the others, such as Momiji and Haru, he knew that he'd also have to deal with Hana and Uo. If Tohru were to tell them about their relationship, he knew he'd never hear the end of the threats that would be thrown his way. At least he'd be able to get away from Shigure and possibly Yuki for a little bit. _But wait. I'm supposed to meet with Akito in one month. That definitely won't be a good thing. Especially since he know about us being together. If she does get hurt by Akito, how would she explain it to her friends? They'd probably think I did it or something… _He thought to himself as he kicked a small stone. He only had one month to make his move to save her, or risk everything.

_---- 1Month Later----_

Tohru walked down the dark pathway leading to the house. It was around 11:21pm by the time she reached the small between the two trees. Today had been the first day back to school which had proved to be very interesting, to say the least.

She had accidentally let it slip to Hana and Uo that she and Kyo were now seeing each other. Hana had started crying and saying things along the lines of her "little Tohru was growing up and was going to be married before they knew it". To say the least, that had set Uo off on rants and lectures about how Kyo had "better take care of her or else she'd have to personally kick his scrawny little ass!". Tohru had never seen Kyo look nervous around Uo. Momiji in the other hand was happy for them and wished them the best of wishes. But there was something that Kyo sensed and knew all too well. Momiji was worried about her safety. Haru was too. But who wouldn't be? Those two and Yuki knew what Akito was capable of doing. After all, he did send Rin to the hospital after pushing her out of a two story window. It was a major issue. At least Kyo knew he wasn't alone. During the last summer at the beach, they all agreed to protect her and keep her safe from Akito's grasp. That's what they were going to do.

She peered down at the dark house. _They all must be sleeping. All the lights are off. I hoped I don't wake them when I come in._ Tohru switched her gaze to the path in front of her when a hand covered her mouth, smothering her scream which was pretty much her only way of getting help. She dropped her school bag as she struggled to get the attacker to release her from their grip. She did not succeed though for the attacker's other hand grabbed on to her own hands. A black car suddenly pulled up as she was shoved into the backseat with the attacker. Grabbing some rope, they tied her up and slipped on a gag and blindfold so she wouldn't be able to see or speak. If the blindfold wasn't there, tears of fright and helplessness would be streaming down her cheeks without being absorbed.

Kyo sat up in his bed sensing that something was wrong. He rubbed his eyes before glancing over at the alarm clock beside his pillow. It was now 11:36. _She should be here any minute now._ But minutes passed and there was still no sound of her coming through the door. Kyo couldn't keep still as he slowly began to worry. He gave her another 5 minutes in case she just was running a little late. Five minutes had passed. He quickly changed into his usual outfit and quickly headed down the path. Rain had begun to fall making it nearly impossible to see. He squinted against the rain as he began his search. While walking in the mud, he spotted something sticking up in the mud. He walked over to the object only to recognize it as Tohru's school bag. There was no sign of her still. He shifted his gaze but stopped at particular spot. _A… a tire… track?_ _W-was Tohru kidnapped?_ He didn't hesitate as he took off in a fast run back to the house. He didn't bother to remove his shoes as he left tracks of mud with every step taken. Kyo nearly slipped down the stairs as he raced up them, trying to get to Yuki's room

"Yuki! Wake the hell up! Tohru's been kidnapped!" He shouted as loudly as he could. The only response he received from the sleeping teen was him turning over and mumbling something that couldn't be comprehended.

"You DAMN RAT! WAKE UP NOW!" Grabbing the blankets, he yanked them off as hard and as fast as he could, causing Yuki falling of the bed with a loud thump. That was enough to wake him up. Purple eyes glared up at dark reddish-brown ones.

"What are you doing in my room, you stupid cat!" Yuki yelled as he stood up and glared at Kyo from eye level.

"It's Tohru! She's been kidnapped! We have to find her!" Yuki looked at him, alarmed at first, but that turned into an 'I think this is one big joke' look. Kyo felt himself grow impatient with his cousin. Why would he joke about something like this?

"Get dressed! I'll prove it to you." He paused for a moment. "I'm going to ask Shigure." Yuki nodded and began to get dressed after Kyo left.

Minutes later, Yuki walked down the stairs.

"Shigure isn't here…"

"That's strange. He never said anything about going anywhere. Now, then, explain what's going on?" Yuki folded his arms across his chest as Kyo began to explain.

"…Then I came to get you guys. And if we take any longer, something bad could happen to Tohru."

"I think I might know who's responsible for all of this." Yuki said as e began walking to the door. He hurriedly put his shoes on.

"Me too. Let's hurry!" Yuki nodded and they ran off.

**AlienDemon:** I am sooo sorry for the long wait and a short chapter. I'm going to try to update the next chapter faster than this and hopefully make it somewhat longer too. I hope you enjoyed.


	7. Suffer

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own Furuba

_**AlienDemon:**_ Sorry for the long wait everyone. But sometimes, it's hard to update so quickly. But here's chapter 7. Try to enjoy it (it's rushed and everything and not as descriptive. If I get the chance, I'll redo this whole chapter and repost it)

Tohru awoke shivering on a cold floor. She tried to move, but to no avail. Her arms were tied as were her feet. She managed to sit up and was about to call out for help. But once she tried to speak, her voice was muffled. She felt a bit of sharp pain in the corner of her mouth as the cloth, that was turned in to a gag, rubbed her skin raw to the point of bleeding. A few seconds later, a metal taste entered her mouth as she grimaced at the unpleasant taste of blood. _Where am I? And when did I pass out? I can't remember a thing… I remember being kidnapped and then… I think that's when I was tied up. I'm scared. I wish Kyo was here. Oh Mom, how am I supposed to get out of this one? What's going to happen to me?_

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes as thoughts of what the possible outcome may be entered her mind. She tried to push those thoughts away and calm herself down. It wasn't easy, but Tohru had managed to do so. Tohru, once she was calmed, took the time to look around. From what she could see, which wasn't much due to the lack of light, the room seemed empty. The only light that did come into the room was coming from under the door and through the windows that allowed minimal light. The majority of the room was placed in darkening shadow that would appear to grow darker with each second that passed. _It's just my mind playing tricks on my eyes…I feel as though I'm going to go crazy if I don't get out of here. Someone, please save me… Kyo…_

Tohru jumped when the door leading into the room slid open with a bang. The only thing she could see was the silhouette of a figure against the dim hallway light. The figure stepped into the room, slamming the door closed behind them. Tohru could feel her self shaking, scared for what could happen. Her heart pounded against her chest as if it was trying to break free.

"I told I would make you suffer like we do. It's your turn, Honda Tohru." There was a small, cold laugh which echoed through the freezing cold room.

_That voice… It sounds so familiar. Akito... It's Akito's! It has to be!_

"A-Akito?" Her voice was still muffled as she tried not to sound scared, though Tohru knew he could probably sense it with ease. The only response she received from the cold hearted man before her was his footsteps that came towards her. He gave a menacing laugh which proved her guess correct.

Akito's hand shot out and grabbed onto her hair, pulling her up off the ground into a standing position. With his free hand, he smacked her hard across her cheek. She let out a sharp gasp once his hand had connected. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes from the stinging and throbbing sensation overwhelmed her. He then punched her with his strength. This time she let out a cry. The gag that was tightly tied around her mouth became loose and slipped around her neck. A small pool of blood formed on Tohru's lip and slipped down her chin. Never once did Akito give her the chance to react before he threw down onto the ground. The back of her head connected with the wall as the tears that Tohru tried to hold back slipped down her cheek, mixing with the blood. Kicks and punches seemed to rain down on her fragile body. She felt weak, scared, and helpless.

Akito laughed at how weak she was. This was the girl that everyone in the zodiac loved and cherished? It was truly pathetic. He quickly grew bored with just hitting, punching and kicking the girl that whimpered with each wound he inflict. A grin spread across his thin lips as he pulled out something that, to Tohru, resembled a small a thin rope which had uncoiled and hit the floor. Terror and dread filled Tohru as she looked up at Akito. "Please, Akito, why are you doing this?" Her voice was small and hoarse, but was not inaudible.

"You stole them from me… If you want to belong, then you will suffer like them!" Akito lifted the rope like object about his head before slamming it down onto her back with a crack. Tohru screamed out in pain as the object slashed into her body a few more times. The pain was too overwhelming for her and she could feel herself loosing consciousness. _Kyo…Please…please… save me. _A single tear made its way down her bruised cheek.

Akito re-coiled the whip and left the room. _If Kyo manages to find her, I'm sure he'll take this as a good warning. Hmm… or maybe just to make her suffer more and to make sure he's learned his lesson, I'll punish him as well. Heh, I'm sure Yuki will be with him as well. I could her two birds with one stone._ A smirk made itself visible as he headed to his own room, waiting for the other two to show up.

Kyo and Yuki finally reached the city. Kyo stopped running, his body feeling with pain momentarily as an image of Tohru flashed into his mind. Yuki stared at his cousin in confusion.

"What's wrong?" By the time Kyo looked up at him, the pain and the image of her smiling face vanished.

"She's in trouble and needs us now. Let's go!" He began to run faster than before, pushing himself to his limits. Yuki was hot at his heels.

_Just hang in there, Tohru. I'm coming for you. And I will kill that bastard for whatever he's done to you!_ Kyo thought. His fists were balled into tight fists as he clenched his teeth together.

The estate was dark when the two arrived.

"It looks like everyone is asleep. That's just great! Now how the hell are we supposed to get inside!" Kyo slammed his fist into a tree leaving a dent.

"Don't worry, we'll find a way in," Yuki did his best to hold back in his own anger.

"And if we don't? Then what?"

"Then I'll just break down a door." Yuki began to jog around the building keeping a look out for a way in. Kyo did the same, going in the opposite direction.

Kyo was slowly running out of the small bit of patience he had left. He hated being in this situation. When Tohru needed him desperately, he wasn't even able to get to her in order to save her. He hated feeling so helpless.

"Kyo! Get you dumb ass over here! I found a way in!" Kyo ran over to where Yuki was. Sure enough there was a window that was opened and had a small light glowing inside.

"It looks like a hallway." Kyo stated as he peered in through the window.

"It doesn't matter, just get inside." Yuki glared over at Kyo before climbing in through the window, Kyo was right behind him. They both stood in the hallway and looked around for a few seconds. There was a small, wooden table that was facing opposite the window. A mirror hung behind the table that contained a small bouquet of flowers. Two candles flickered in their candle holders that were located on either side of the mirror.

"This hallway seems familiar." Yuki muttered as he finished taking in the surroundings.

"And so do the two of you, Yuki, Kyo." The two jumped slightly from the deep voice which was standing behind the two. Yuki and Kyo both turned around and came face to face with the black and white haired teen.

"Haru? What are you doing here?" Kyo asked, though the answer was quite obvious.

"I live here. Besides, I should be asking the two of you that. Why are you guys in my house? Shouldn't you guys be with Tohru?" Haru cocked his head to the side slightly. Something didn't seem right.

"Actually, she's the reason we're here. Tohru's been kidnapped. We think that Akito took her. There wasn't any other way in, and your window was the only way in. So, we climbed in." Kyo quickly explained.

"Well, if that's the case, let's go. If she's with Akito, god only knows what he could be doing right now!" Haru lead them through the living room and out the front door. They now stood in the main hallway. "The only question is where would he have put her?"

"I think I know…" Yuki said as he took the lead. The other two followed quickly behind him. They turned down many different hallways. It felt like forever when they finally stood outside a door. Kyo didn't wait before he forced open the door, letting the small amount of light in the hallway flood the room. The three boys stared in shock at the sight they saw.

Tohru's once pale body was now covered in numerous bruises and gashes. The blood that slipped down her body made her seem even paler. Kyo ran over to her, carefully laying her on her back and cradling her head in his arms. His throat tightened making him feel like he was going to choke on the lump that had formed in his throat. Tears feel from his red eyes, landing on her cheeks.

"This is all my fault… I'm so sorry Tohru! I never meant for you to ever get hurt! I never meant for you to ever become a victim of Akito! Tohru… I'm so sorry. Please be alright!" Kyo whispered in her ear.

Yuki glanced over at Haru. "Go get Hatori. And hurry!" Haru nodded and raced out of the room. Silence filled the room as Yuki walked over to the couple.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Cat and the Rat. Coming to rescue that stupid bitch?" Kyo and Yuki looked at the door way, anger and slight fear filling them.

"Why the hell did you do this to her!" Kyo shouted as he stood up and moved in front of her.

"Why? Because that wench was taking you all away from me. I am the God, not her. You think she can really break the damn curse! I don't think so! Ever since she came along, you have all been trying to stand your ground against me and I'm sick of it." He paused for a moment. He glared at them feeling angry. "She's a useless nobody that's not needed. I will not tolerate her any more. She is a bad influence and needs to be killed…" Murder was in his eyes. Kyo looked over a Yuki giving him a look telling him to get Tohru out of there.

"She isn't a useless nobody. That would be all you, Akito! You're the person who has driven us away from you! You **_are_** the curse!" Kyo shouted back. Yuki carefully grabbed Tohru and began to drag her out of the room. This action didn't go unnoticed by Akito.

"And just where do you think you're going with her, Yuki? Would you liked to be punished just like her? I will if you don't let her go." Akito's voice was sickeningly sweet. Memories of the years of abuse Yuki had to endure from Akito flooded back into his mind. The pain, the blood, the poisonous words in which was etched into Yuki's mind filled him with fear. Akito lazily walked over to Tohru. "Do you really want to feel the horrible pain that she had to feel? Do you really want to be degraded down to this BITCH'S LEVEL!" Akito kicked Tohru's back that was already full of gashes from his whipping.

Kyo's anger began to boil to the surface. Before he knew what he was doing, Kyo had Akito on the ground and was punching him in the face. This didn't last long, however, for Akito managed to pin Kyo under him. "You stupid cat. You truly are pathetic. You expect to beat me when you can't even bet the rat?" He laughed in amusement.

"Yuki! Get her out of here!" Yuki nodded and for once, he did what his cousin had told him. This didn't sit well with Akito. Akito stood up quickly and grabbed Yuki and was about to punch him when Kyo's voice stopped him. "You touch him and I swear I'll making you regret ever being born."

Akito looked at Kyo, amusement playing in his eyes. "And what can you do to stop me? You're just a weak, pathetic cat that will never be able to defeat me. Not now, not ever!" He started to laugh until he heard the sound of something dropping to the floor. He glanced down and saw the beads that were normally around Kyo's wrist on the floor. Kyo was now transformed into the cat's other form. Akito backed up slightly even though he had seen this form many a times. But the look in the beast's eyes managed to plant a little fear in him. Seeing how Akito wasn't able to stop him, Yuki grabbed Tohru and carefully dragged her out of the room.

"I'm going to kill you for what you have done to her!" Kyo lunged at the fear stricken Akito, his claws slashing into his flesh. Screams of pain could be heard. All the hatred that Kyo had bottled up over the years was finally being unleashed.

"Kyo, stop it this instant!" Another male's voice, Hatori's voice, called out but it was useless. Haru came up beside him with Momiji, who had been staying at Hatori's and heard about everything, in time to see Kyo take one last swing at Akito, the swing that ended his life. Everyone was silent, not sure how to react to what had just happened. Just then, a bright light filled the room causing everyone to look away or shield their eyes. Kyo transformed back to his regular self, but suddenly, felt him clutching his stomach as a sharp pain raced through his body in pulses. Kyo wasn't the only one to be feeling the pain. Every other person who was cursed felt the same pain. The curse had been lifted…

**AlienDemon:** This chapter sucked. It was pretty rushed and wasn't as descriptive, I know. But at least it's now finished. It wasn't as long as I wanted but I guess this'll have to do.

I want to really apologize for taking a few months to update! I'm so sorry. My excuse for this is because I've been having some family problems and haven't been able to really work on the fic in the least bit.

The next chapter is going to be the last and then the fic will be finished! I'm planning on sticking on one-shots from now on. It's difficult to keep an idea going. This took a giant turn from what the fic was going to be originally about. I wasn't even planning on Tohru being kidnapped. Why I put that whole thing in there? I've no idea. But, I hope you all enjoyed! See you all in the next chapter!


	8. Forever

**Chapter 8:** Forever

Disclaimer: Don't own Fruits Basket.

AlienDemon: So I finally motivated myself to finish what I started. I'm sorry it took me two years to actually update. So, I hope everyone enjoys!

The pain was blinding and unlike anything I ever felt before. It felt as though every inch of my body was being stabbed by a burning hot blade. My soul felt like it was being torn apart by the claws and teeth of some large beast. And even though I felt like I could die from this horrendous pain, I never wanted it to stop. I wanted suffer like this for all eternity to pay for the mistakes I made. I wanted this to be the punishment I deserved for crushing God's most precious flower, my saving grace. But of course, the intense pain began to dull until I could no longer feel it. All my sense came back and with it the memories.

I didn't bother to move or even open my eyes. I would just be in the way of everyone trying to save Tohru. I knew she would be okay physically, Hatori would be sure of that. But her emotional and mental state would be a different matter all together; no one could be sure as to how much damage Akito could have done. I shuddered at the thought and began to wish that sickening pain would come back and make me forget. There was no such luck. Instead, images of her mutilated body flashed vividly across my mind. I always knew that she was fragile, but seeing her covered in dark bruises and bloodied wounds made her seem impossibly weak. I could feel my chest constricting as fresh tears slipped from my eyes. If only it was possible to choke on that thick lump that grows in your throat, then I could quickly just burn in the deepest pits of hell and pray that the Devil himself was the one to cause me all the suffering and torture I deserved for not protecting the only one person I ever loved. But again, luck was my enemy.

I barely noticed the shuffling of feet and shouts ordering for an ambulance and some of Hatori's equipment to momentarily help the girl I practically allowed to die. She was lucky to have so many people who were able to love and care for her. They would all be able to help Tohru to heal. Unlike them, I was better off erasing myself from her life. She deserved so much better after what I put her through ever since she first walked into my life.

I quickly opened my eyes the moment I heard footsteps come toward me. I wasn't surprised to see Haru looking down at me with—what was that emotion I saw reflected in his eyes? I didn't know what to do as I stared up at him for a few moments.

"Are you okay? It seems as though the curse is completely broken." Leave it to Haru to talk about such nonsense in a dark time.

"I… Forget I'm here. Forget I exist. Just worry about--" I fell silent. The guilt and pain were all tied to her name now. Her name was too forbidden to speak aloud. I didn't say anything in response to his questioning gaze and, instead, quickly stood and drifted out of the room and into the chilling hall. I had no idea as to where it was that I was going. All I knew was that I had to get away. I had to find someplace where I could clear my head and think about this; think about my punishment, a way to save Tohru from myself, and show that I felt nothing but utter guilt for ever dragging her into my dark and twisted world. If I had never let her in, I never would have found hope. I never would have thought happiness and love was a possibility for me. She wouldn't have wasted so much time worrying about me and could have spent it worrying about her own happiness and finding a true love that would always protect her. Tohru wouldn't be fighting for her life…

The chill of the late night air was enough to pull me away from my thoughts. The moon, now high into the night sky, was a mere gentle glow behind the dark, gray clouds that had moved in some time ago. The smell of rain was thick in the air and only mere seconds passed before it began to fall. What perfect timing for such a depressing atmosphere. As if I needed its effects. Wasn't I already depressed enough for the whole fucking world? Obviously not, I decided, since the rain just fell heavier. I paused in mid walk and tilted my head back to stare up at the water droplets falling from the heavens like thousands of tears. No one was crying for me. If anything, they were tears for Tohru.

I shook my head and continued walking in a familiar direction. How long had it been since I last walked down this stone path? How long had it been since I climbed the small flight of steps and then turning right at the large tree? How long had it been since I last stood outside of the house I used to live in as a child? I could tell that no one had been around either; weeds were over grown. The paint on the house was yellowed and cracked in various places. It looked so abandoned and empty. I wanted so badly to turn and leave from this place, but my feet continued to drag me forward until I was twisting the rusted door handle and walking into the main room. It was as I remembered it; the large sofa acted as a divider for the dining room and faced the wall perpendicular of the door. The TV was facing the sofa and a coffee table sat between the two objects. An arm chair was on the wall opposite me with an end table on its left. Dust covered everything in thick layers just adding to the years I'd been away. I was almost too afraid to take another step deeper, but again, I had no choice as I felt myself being automatically pulled in.

I avoided the kitchen. I didn't want to see the memory of mom checking my bracelet as she tried to lovingly decline my request to play outside. I walked slowly pass the dining room and into the pitch black hallway. I didn't need a light to tell me the bathroom was on the left followed a few steps later of my room on the right. I entered my room and clicked on the overhead light. My bed was still a mess from never being made. Toy cars, a stuffed animal cat, and a yo-yo were the only objects that were scattered across my floor. I walked towards the desk. Childish pictures of a stick figure family, my family, laid on the wooden surface. I gently brushed my fingers across its waxy surface. Everyone looked so happy, a direct contradiction of the reality of my life. I tore my eyes away and squeezed them shut. I was such a fool to allow myself to be blind. I always thought my parents did love me and wanted to protect me. I thought we were happy and would always be together. It's funny how cruel life really was.

I quickly walked out of my old prison and cautiously approached the last door in the hall. It was partially cracked, giving off an eerie feeling. Hesitance crept inside of me, but I knew I needed to go in there. I wanted to know how my parents really felt. I took a steadying breath as I entered the slightly larger bedroom. The king sized bed was against the wall facing the door way, exactly in the middle. On either side were mahogany night tables. Both had small bedside lamps and various objects covering the surface. It wasn't hard to tell that the right side was my mother's. A large dresser rested next to the door and stretched on for maybe five feet. A potted plant, now dead, sat between the dresser and door leading to the bathroom. The closet was on the adjacent wall. A few pictures lined the walls, giving it some decoration and character. I didn't pay attention to them. Instead, I focused on my mother's nightstand, curious to know what secrets she hid.

The doors to the table opened with a small squeak and casted shadows on the inside, making it slightly darker in the light. I didn't bother to peer inside and just blindly pulled out whatever it was that my hand touched. I looked down at the small pile as I moved to sit on the bed. There were a few letters, a small photo album, and a plain journal. I laid them out before me and decided to look through the letters. The first two I opened were old hospital bills with the word paid largely written across the top. I looked at the dates. The first was from when I was born. The second was three years after. Of course I didn't have any memories earlier than the age of four. Maybe the journal would mention something about this. I tossed the two bills to the side and opened the last letter. I pulled out a neatly folded packet of papers. I could automatically tell they were some kind of legal documents. My heart began to pound as if I somehow already knew what to expect before I even unfolded them. I debated for a long second whether I should look or just forget about it. My curiosity won. I quickly unfolded the document and nearly regretted doing so. Adoption papers. My own parents were thinking of giving me up. I laughed. Were they seriously that stupid? I flipped through them, shaking with laughter with the idiocy of it all. But it was no longer a joke. They were serious. I stared at the signature, my Shishou's signature. Everything, yet nothing, made sense to me. I double checked the date beside his name; it was only a few weeks after the second hospital bill. If he signed these papers, why didn't I live with him before the death of my mother? Was this a major role in him taking me in? I shoved those papers in my pant pocket and decided to flip through the journal next.

I skim read the first fifty or so pages of the plain, black book, my heart aching with each word. All she knew was that I was going to be a boy and she was looking forward to it. She had so many hopes and dreams for me. She once upon a time loved me. The next entry was a week after I was born. Her mood was darker; the pages were overflowing with sadness. Did I really cause her so much pain just because I happened to be cursed? Splotches of watery ink became frequent. Her struggles to keep happy for me were becoming strained. I found the answer to my first question:

_May 13__th__, 19XX_

_I can't take this anymore. Trying to be a mother to a child changes into cat every time I hug is like torture. This is not even including that more… that other side of him. Why does God have to be so cruel to give me a child cursed by the Zodiac? All I ever wanted was to have a normal son or daughter. _

_My husband and I have been trying for some time to conceive once again. But this is proving to be impossible. The doctor's say that I'm not able to carry another child. It'd be too straining for my body. So now I'm stuck with a child I can't even begin to even force myself to love. Every day I try so hard to take care of… of that child and to be a good mother. But how can I when I'm so scared of him? My husband is under stress because of the head of the family. Our status has become lowered. Everywhere we go we just so pity reflecting in their eyes, their words, and hell even their movements. I don't want to live like this! I can't do it anymore… I'm better off dead than living like this…_

There are no words to describe how I feel after reading this. Never once did she claim me as _her_ child. Since the day I was born and since my first transformation, she never once loved me, only pretended to. I knew she was fearful of me. But to never love me and felt forced to? The next entry was a few weeks after.

_June 4__th__, 19XX_

_Even Death finds my suffering more amusing. I suppose I didn't take enough pills to kill me off. But it's alright. I received some adoption papers so I can get rid of the cursed child. Kazuma Sohma has agreed to take him in. Maybe my life can go back to normal and my husband can have a happy ending after all. It feels strange not to regret a decision such as this, but how can I when I know I'll get my life back. And at least the child will be taken care of by someone who has already had the cat in the family. He'll take that child far from here so I'll never have to see him again. The only thing now is to talk to my husband. I am a little worried. He seems fond of the child and may disagree with this idea. But I'm sure he'll eventually give in when he realizes that I'll become better. After all, it's the child that's making me sick. The way he thinks he's so normal and loved. It's pathetic, really…_

_My husband says to wait it out, to wait for the child to grow older. He'll become better. Rumors have it that one of the members of the Zodiac broke his own curse. Maybe there'll be a chance that Kyo will too. There may be hope. Though, I have a feeling nothing of the sort will happen._

I read a little more after that. Each day her doubt would grow more and more, though she tried harder to be a mother. Finally it took a toll on her. I closed the book, not wanting to read anymore and looked towards the bathroom. The door was closed and looked as if no one had entered it since the day they found her. I stood up, grabbing the photo album, and walked towards the door. It was a little hard to open, since the wood began to swell from the moisture of the rain. I flipped on the switch and looked down at the floor, my eyes being pulled towards the red stain on the once pure white tile. Small pills still littered the floor, their bottle still resting beside the toilet. If one thing didn't kill her, than the other option had to. My mouth became thick with saliva as bile rose to the back of my throat. I turned and left the rooms, turning off the lights as I went. I've seen enough and needed to leave this place. I ran out of there, slamming the front door behind me. This time I knew where I was going. There was only one person who had the answers.

The harsh and bitter rain and wind were freezing against my bare feet and upper body. My pants, the only article of clothing that offered me minimal protection, were already drenched. It didn't take long to reach his home. I didn't bother knocking as I walked straight inside, just barely remembering to remove my shoes. I walked straight into the dining area, knowing that that's where he'd be. He looked up at me in surprise followed by worry because of my state. I watched as Shishou jumped to his feet.

"Kyo! What are you doing running around dressed like that? Is everything okay? Did something happen?" He took of his jacket and draped it over my shoulders while dragging me to the nearest bathroom. He pulled out a towel and began to dry my hair. I could hear his silent questions as he waited for some form of response from me. I only slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled out the papers.

"I found this with mom's things. Is this why you came for me? Is this why you always acted so kind to me? Did you feel that sorry for me that you decided to go along with…?" I curled my right hand in anger as my body shook with too many emotions. I could feel fresh tears coming. I didn't hide them as I looked up at him; to read what it was that was going through his mind. He said nothing as he looked through the papers. Shishou's eyes were heavy with some emotion that I couldn't recognize. He just smiled and took me to my room. He took his time searching my drawers before pulling out some pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.

"I'll go and make us some tea. We'll talk about this when you're dried off. Take a bath if you need to," He said before walking out and closing the door, leaving me there. I wiped the tears from my eyes and quickly dried off and changed. I needed answers. I needed the truth, no matter how miniscule it was. I just needed some kind of comfort.

The familiar creak of the stairs somehow felt so foreign to me. This place was no longer my home. Shishou was no longer like that father figure I had craved for. Now it was as if this place was just a temporary home with an acquaintance. I sat down at my usual place across from Shishou and stared down at the steaming cup of tea that had been placed on the table. Silence lingered around us for a few moments before I decided to change that.

"I really did kill my mother. I disgusted her that much…She had been miserable since the day she found out I was cursed, the worse of all the cursed… She couldn't bear taking care of me. All this time, I believed it wasn't my fault. But it was. I-"

"Kyo, that's not true. You had no control over your fate. You had no control over anything that happened. You're mother had always been depressed. Hatori was-" I wouldn't hear it. I wouldn't hear the lies he tried to offer in consolation. I was done with being fooled.

"You never read her journal. You didn't know the thoughts she had. My mother… My mother was happy once! But I took that away because I was born! If she hadn't conceived me when she did, she would still be alive, living the life she so long dreamt about. She tried to kill herself because of me! And these papers… Why? Why is you name on these fucking papers?" I knew there was no reason to shout, but it somehow felt appropriate. It matched the anger I felt inside.

"Kyo, you already know how my grandfather had been cursed, had been confined. The first time I saw you, so small and innocent, oblivious of what life had in store for you, I could only feel horrible. The pain you would have to suffer, it struck a chord in me. Your father knew that I had been related to the last person cursed by the Zodiac. When he came to me with those papers, I could only think of you, that small boy who probably didn't understand anything." He paused and took a sip of the hot liquid. After setting his glass down, he looked at me. His eyes bore into mine as if he could see my soul; see everything I tried in vain to hide from the world.

"Kyo, I never once thought of redeeming myself because of my grandfather. In all honesty, I heard the whispers, heard the rumors that spread around. Your environment wasn't the best. I saw this as an opportunity to give you a chance at a better life. Maybe every now and then I think of my grandfather, but Kyo, you aren't the same person. I knew that for him, just seeing me offer a kind hand to person cursed by the cat would mean the world. Once Kureno managed to break from the curse, your parents believed there was a chance for the same to happen. They decided to keep the papers a secret and just wait to see what would happen. As I'm sure you read, that day never came and your mother fell deeper into despair. Then she… I knew it was my time to take you away. I'm sure if he had the chance, your father would try to make your life a living hell…

"Kyo, I always did see you as my own son. I've always accepted you no matter what you did or what happened. I just wanted to see you happy and live life to the fullest. You'll always have a home here and someone to go to when you need someone to comfort or help you with whatever." He offered me the warmest smile I had seen in a long time. How could I have been so stupid? But I still had a question.

"Why… why is it so hard for us to be loved and accepted by those who aren't cursed? Why are we always ridiculed and looked down upon if the Zodiac is so important in this family?" Shishou was silent. I knew he didn't have a real answer besides the usual 'you're just different'.

"People don't really understand the curse and what they don't understand, they fear. As long as you aren't the rat and not in Akito's favor, you're just a person with a cruel fate and bad luck. But there are others out there who embrace them whole heartedly. Kyo, don't ever think of what you are as a curse; don't listen to the words of others."

"It's too late. Shishou, it's too late for me. Thank you… for always being there. I'm too much like my mother in that sense. I took to heart everything that didn't matter, just like she did. I even let the most precious person in my life fall in love with me and brought danger to her. I was too blinded. And now, it's too late for me to fix anything. It's the only down fall in life. There's never a chance to go back in time to correct all the wrongs. Sure you can avoid it later in life, but there are mistakes that will forever be heavy on your soul making life harder to live. I think I know how mom must have felt. Giving birth to a creature like me was a mistake that she could never correct. She and my father never loved me, did they?" My only response was silence. I stood up from the table. My curiosity was fulfilled, even if I always knew the truth; even if this visit seemed somehow pointless. I didn't wait for him as I left.

Death; it's always seen as the easy way out. But if you can't find your purpose in this world, then isn't it okay? If you have too much to carry, isn't it alright to let your soul rest? If you're tainted, marked with a mistake that can never be corrected, even if it wasn't entirely your fault, can't death just correct it in the end? I had no purpose in life. I carried the burden of a mistake. My soul was forever stained by the blood of loved ones. So wasn't it okay for me to die, to just end my life so no one had to suffer again? Even if the curse was broken, it still lingered. It destroyed my life and I'm still plagued by all the memories. It was too late to correct… It was my turn to go.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The sky was still dark with thick black clouds that spread across the vast sky. Life seemed frozen in this never ending sadness. But just when there seemed to be no hope, a ray of sunshine broke through the clouds and down to the earth, making it a little brighter.

Yuki stared out the window of Tohru's hospital room. Tohru's steady breathing and the constant beeping of her IV were the only two noises that reminded him she was okay. Her wounds were mostly healed, taking only a week. But she still remained asleep. He glanced over at her before up at the clock. Visiting hours would be over soon. He nearly had a foot out the door when he heard a slight whimper. He quickly turned his head to look at her. Her face was etched with slight pain, her eyes seeming to be closed tightly.

"T-Tohru?" Yuki said with a little hope in his voice.

"Kyo…" Her voice was soft and a little raspy from not being used. "Kyo…" Tohru's eyes opened slightly. For a moment she stared up at Yuki before looking around the room. She became more alert and took a moment to sit up. "Where am I? A-Akito! Where's Akito? What happened? How-" Yuki pressed a finger to Tohru's lips and quickly took a seat on the bed.

"You're at the hospital right now. You were badly hurt from Akito. He's been… taken care of. So you have nothing to worry about. How do you feel?" He removed his finger as he patiently waited her response.

Tohru was silent as she registered his words. The memories flooded back in her mind. Only one other question was left to ask.

"Where's Kyo? Is he okay?" Tohru tried to study his face until he looked away. Her stomach began to twist in knots at his reaction. "What happened to Kyo? Please tell me he's okay?" Tohru desperately clutched onto Yuki's hand.

"We don't know where he's at. The last time we heard from him was the day we saved you. He did go to Shishou's but after that… We're not sure." Tohru's eyes began to water at his response. She began to try to crawl out of bed, only to be stopped. "You need to rest, Tohru. Haru and Momiji are keeping an eye out for him, so are the others. He's probably fine, so no need to worry." Yuki tried to give her a comforting smile, but it did nothing to console her. "I'll go tell Hatori and the other's that you're awake. They'll all be happy to know." Yuki stood and left the room. Tohru's eyes drifted towards the window.

Yuki walked into the hall and turned left, heading towards the waiting area. He wasted no time in pulling out his cell phone and quickly dialed the doctor's number.

"Hello?" Hatori asked.

"It's Tohru; she finally woke up," Yuki replied.

"How is she doing?"

"She seems to be doing fine, but she wants to know about…" He couldn't help but feel a little hesitant. "She wants to know about Kyo. Any word from him yet?" Yuki could hear Hatori sigh.

"Nothing, yet. I'll be stopping by as soon as I finish up with matters here. Tell the others, they'll be wanting to visit Tohru."

"Alright, I'll see you soon." Yuki hung up and called the others before heading back to the room. A nurse was already there with Tohru, giving her a quick check up and some pain killers.

"The other's should be here soon to visit with you. Everyone, especially Kisa, has been very worried about you." Tohru smiled at him, trying her best to look enthusiastic, but he could see her true desire. Anger boiled in him. How he would be sure to beat the living hell out of that cat for all he had done. "So how are you feeling?"

"Just a little sore, but the nurses said I should be able to leave by next week by the way everything's healing. I'm sorry to have caused everyone so much trouble and worry." Tohru did her best to bow deeply despite her sitting position. Yuki chuckled. Leave it to her to think herself a burden for something out of her control.

"It's okay, Tohru. It's not your fault or anything. None of us could predict something like this would happen. If anything, we should apologize for not doing a better job in protecting you like we promised."

"Please don't take any blame…" Tohru responded. She looked down at her fiddling hands before glancing out the window. She couldn't help but let her mind stray towards Kyo. It felt like it had been forever since she last saw him, last touched him. A tear trickled down her cheek. The only person she wanted to see was Kyo. She knew it sounded selfish and that everyone had risked their life for her time and again, but she wanted the proof that he was okay, that he was still with her. She didn't understand why no one knew where Kyo went or why he had disappeared. _Guilt…? Disgust…? Kyo, just come back. I miss you…_

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Kyo, Tohru woke up..." Haru turned towards the other teen who lay on the spare bed, facing the wall. "Are you going to see her?"

"I don't deserve to. I would just somehow cause her pain," Kyo replied. He looked down at his bandaged wrists. It was another failure to add to his growing list.

After he had fled from Shishou's home, he ran towards the woods till he reached a small clearing he would often escape to when younger. Kyo attempted to end his life; he just never realized that Shishou had followed him. Kyo had already blacked out by the time Shishou reached him. He was immediately taken to Hatori to be patched up. Haru volunteered to take him in and keep watch. No one else knew, Hatori wanting Kyo to rest up.

Haru narrowed his eyes slightly, his black self slowly coming out. Wasn't Kyo just taking this a little too far? Wasn't Kyo hurting Tohru more by not even going to visit her?

"I've had enough of this. You're going to the hospital and you're going to see Tohru! It's been a week already! Don't you think you're hurting her more by not even paying her a visit, even if it's just to glance at her? Stop being so damn selfish and start thinking about others for a change! It's not only about you! And while you're at it, get some fucking help because you're attitude is really starting to piss me off! I understand that you're life is shitastic, but Kyo, think about everyone you're seriously hurting, though it's probably just Tohru, but everyone's worried a-"

"You think I don't know that? All I want is to just be erased from her life… I've done nothing but hurt her since day one and… I don't deserve to see her." Haru grabbed a hold of Kyo's shirt and tanked him off the bed.

"Stop acting so damn pitiful!" He landed a punch square on Kyo's cheek. "Never had I heard Tohru once complain about you. She's in love with you! Ugh! You're just so annoying!"Haru let go of Kyo and stormed out of the room. That guy was just beyond him.

Kyo stood there rubbing his cheek. Maybe it would be okay to see her. He walked out of the room and out of the house. Rain fell in a light drizzle as he walked slowly towards the hospital. Guilt was overflowing with each step he took. Would this be another mistake? How would she act towards him? Would Tohru hate him for not protecting her? His thoughts were cut short as he spotted a small flower shop. Tohru always did like flowers…

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Tohru waved goodbye to her visitors as they were forced out by the nurse. Once gone, she let her forced smile drop. Her mood felt as dark as the outside world did. She watched as a streak of lightning flashed across the sky.

"Kyo…" Her body began to shake with crying. She jumped slightly as she felt herself being pulled towards and lean and soaked body.

"I'm here… I'm here, Tohru." His grip tightened around her as held her in his arms for the first time.

"Kyo… I'm so glad you're here. Are you okay?" He slowly pulled away from her and sat on the bed.

"I'm so sorry, Tohru. I've never meant for you to ever get hurt. I love you so damn much! Every time something happened to you, I couldn't help but feel responsible for never protecting you, from never stopping myself from causing you to cry and worry about such a horrible person like me. I just want you to be happy, Tohru. So if you hate me, want nothing more to do with me, than that's okay. I don't deserve someone like you… You deserve better than a monster. I just never want to hurt you again…"

"I never could dare hate you. I love you too, Kyo. I just wish you would stop blaming yourself for everything that happens. What happens to me isn't your fault. And you're always there when I need you. You always save me in the end. You're not a horrible person or a monster. I just want to see you happy, not guilty or in pain. Let me help you…" Tohru looked up at him with desperate eyes.

"Just stay by me and I'll always be happy."

"I promise," Tohru replied before moving to kiss him. Everything in that moment felt perfect. Things would be okay.

**AlienDemon:** Well, here's the final chapter of Thoughts Inside Me. I deeply apologize to my loyal readers for quitting on you guys. Honestly, I constantly thought about this story and finally decided to finish it. It didn't feel right to leave a piece of work incomplete. So I'm very sorry.

At the same time, I want to thank you all for taking the time to read this and for all the reviews and words of encouragement. I seriously couldn't have done this without you all. You all are the best!

I might end up adding an epilogue, but until I get an idea as to what to write for it, there won't be one for a while. Well, thanks again! I hope you all have enjoyed Thoughts Inside Me.


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